Advent Talk

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Welcome to Advent Talk, a place for members and friends of the Seventh-day Adventist Church! 

Feel free to invite your friends to come here.

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: enditnow - Violence Against Women  (Read 9715 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Johann

  • Guest
enditnow - Violence Against Women
« on: August 09, 2010, 02:25:46 PM »

http://www.enditnow.org/

The July/August 2010 issue of MINISTRY has an important article about this issue.

Adventists Say No to Violence Against Women.

It includes the story of a church leader who was violent to his wife without the pastor taking issue in spite of seeing many tell tale signs - until the pastor was called to the hospital where this woman had been "beaten to within an inch of her life."

The pastor also discovered the church leader and husband had been arrested by police for being the attacker.

"IF PASTORS, OF ALL PEOPLE, DO NOT SPEAK OUT--WHO WILL?"

Violence against women needs to stop. What will you do about it?
Logged

princessdi

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1271
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 04:32:20 PM »

I hope this includes getting some kind of policy for abusers amongst the pastorate.   They generally just move them somewhere else.
Logged
It is the duty of every cultured man or woman to read sympathetically the scriptures of the world.  If we are to respect others' religions as we would have them respect our own, a friendly study of the world's religions is a sacred duty. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

mrst53

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 363
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2010, 06:05:43 PM »

Amen to that!
Logged

tinka

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1495
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2010, 07:39:05 PM »

http://www.enditnow.org/

The July/August 2010 issue of MINISTRY has an important article about this issue.

Adventists Say No to Violence Against Women.

It includes the story of a church leader who was violent to his wife without the pastor taking issue in spite of seeing many tell tale signs - until the pastor was called to the hospital where this woman had been "beaten to within an inch of her life."

The pastor also discovered the church leader and husband had been arrested by police for being the attacker.

"IF PASTORS, OF ALL PEOPLE, DO NOT SPEAK OUT--WHO WILL?"

Violence against women needs to stop. What will you do about it?

Just curious about this and wondering! I wonder what type of education for pastorial duties and where he obtained them and if anyone would know about answering this?
Logged

Johann

  • Guest
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2010, 12:05:03 AM »

I hope this includes getting some kind of policy for abusers amongst the pastorate.   They generally just move them somewhere else.

The MINISTRY article states about the pastor:

"There were rumors, but they neither sounded like the kind of gossip that a pastor wanted to hear nor wanted circulating in the church, and so he firmly shut them down when he could."

Have you experienced something like this?
Logged

Bob Pickle

  • Defendants
  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4056
    • Pickle Publishing
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2010, 05:33:59 AM »

The entire Ministry article can be read at a Christian Reformed Church website:

http://network.crcna.org/content/safe-church/end-it-now-today
Logged

Johann

  • Guest
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2010, 06:19:23 AM »

I find it interesting that this article is available on the net through the Christian Reformed Church website before it is available from the MINISTRY website.

At the CRC webside I found this important question delt with:

http://network.crcna.org/content/safe-church/why-cant-we-just-forgive-one-another
Logged

princessdi

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1271
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2010, 09:03:29 AM »

I have only observed, not experienced because I was never married to church leadership/pastorate, neither had the inclination to be married to such. 

However, what I have observed is that in many ways we are the same as any other christian denom who have systems resembling ours.....including the RCC. 

One situation had one pastor who battered his wife for years, and it was the typical story with her putting his "career" first and not saying anything......for years.  Well, it go very bad at one point and she actually had to call in church members and authorities for help.  He then claimed that it was her fault because he came home.....that day.....and caught her in a lesbian affair..........NOT!!!.....but they went with that any way, even though they also tried to convince her to stay.  She refused and she was told that they would look out for his career.  Even taking this "defense" to court regarding custody of the children.  So they allowed to circulate the fact that she was having this affair, but NOBODY would believe that he was abusing her....except for those who worked in that area in some way...they were definitely a minority. Now, at this point, they did not remove him, but just made him asst. pastor at another church in the area.  Now, this situation was a bit different from the rest, as I guess the conference really did believe that he abused her, because they would not allow him to be senior pastor anywhere, and then when he went and got remarried, they actually did remove him.  He stayed married and moved across country, where that conference did allow him to pastor.

Now, I know of other stories where they just moved them.  I also know of stories with tragic even fatal results.  Those were mostly between prominent SDA families. 

In all the situations, the wife was blackballed, even often having the the conferences actively working to destroy her credibility(sound familiar?), in favor of "saving" his career...and of course, "for the good of the ministry"....."how would it look if that kind of thing got out".  Even sucessfully convincing many of the wives to remain in the marriages, without requiring pastors to get they help they needed.

And then....I am not going to even go into all the sexual abuse happening within families...leadership families..........young boys and girls molested within the ranks of the Pathfinders, SS, youth depts, Women/young girls being "felt up", kissed and bitten suring "greeting time" at divine worship service, etc.  Yes, yes we have quite a few TS's within our own ranks.  It would take the same one or two witnesses to the police station for us to have a media worthy blow up in far too many of our churches.

Once again, if they are not, first and foremost, going to address those issues, they are just blowing smoke. Not only the ones that might come up in the future, but the existing abuses everyone knows about already.  You know how everyone in the church knows what is going on, including the board members, but it is never addressed on an official level?  Yes, those are the ones I am talking about.  It would be a courageous act by the church in that it would mean the removal of members, leadership at church and conference levels.  However, it would go along way with the victims, and probably, the world in letting them know that the church was serious about eradicating this sickness within the church.
Logged
It is the duty of every cultured man or woman to read sympathetically the scriptures of the world.  If we are to respect others' religions as we would have them respect our own, a friendly study of the world's religions is a sacred duty. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

mrst53

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 363
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2010, 05:04:37 PM »

Not just your church..Baptist too. A very domineering junior  pastor battered his wife, verbally and physically but kept the bruises where they didn't show. He also hit his children.. also where the bruises didn't show.  It wasn't til the oldest daughter married and her husband began shoving and hitting her, that the mother realized what she had done and began to stand up for herself and her other children. Did the other people in the church know? The other women did and I am sure the other deacons did. The jr. pastor had a terrible temper. I am sure they just looked the other way....
Logged

princessdi

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1271
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2010, 10:40:26 AM »

Exactly Mrst53....everyone looking the other way.   

Not just your church..Baptist too. A very domineering junior  pastor battered his wife, verbally and physically but kept the bruises where they didn't show. He also hit his children.. also where the bruises didn't show.  It wasn't til the oldest daughter married and her husband began shoving and hitting her, that the mother realized what she had done and began to stand up for herself and her other children. Did the other people in the church know? The other women did and I am sure the other deacons did. The jr. pastor had a terrible temper. I am sure they just looked the other way....
Logged
It is the duty of every cultured man or woman to read sympathetically the scriptures of the world.  If we are to respect others' religions as we would have them respect our own, a friendly study of the world's religions is a sacred duty. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

Johann

  • Guest
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2010, 02:24:52 AM »

World Wide Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day
Date

    * August 28, 2010
    * This event starts on August 28, 2010. It ends on August 28, 2010.

Description

    * World Wide Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day.This year for the annual APED, Women’s Ministries is collaborating with ADRA’s enditnow campaign to end violence against women and girls. The initial goal of enditnow is to collect 1 million signatures to present to the United Nations in October, to make it clear that Adventists want the violence to end now.

      To download a suggested Sabbath program with sermon, children’s story, and PowerPoint presentation entitled, “God’s Holy Temple: To Protect and Respect,” visit http://nadwm.org/article.php?id=39

      In addition, you can go to http://www.enditnow.org/ to download the enditnow petition forms, a sample video trailer and other resources. Petition signatures could be collected in the foyer of the church, especially on APED, or in the community at any time.

Contact Information

    * 800.328.0525 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              800.328.0525      end_of_the_skype_highlighting
    * service@adventsource.org

http://www.nadadventist.org/calendar.php?action=event_details&id=186&date=2010-08-28
Logged

Murcielago

  • Global Moderator
  • Veteran Member
  • *******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1274
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2010, 11:17:36 PM »

On a fundamental level, abuse is far more pervasive than we would like to think. I am currently dealing with a situation in which a mother of two little kids will go to prison for a long time for drug dealing and prostitution, but should mostly because of the terrible emotional, sexual and physical abuse she has inflicted on her kids, although what she has done to the kids seems to not matter so much. They have a great dad who is an employee of the church and is trying to keep them aligned with Christianity, but because she is a mom, and he is a dad, it is difficult for the courts to place the kids with him.

In short, although men are most often billed as abusers, there are many kids and men out there who are being terribly abused by the mother/mother-of-the-kid(s) in their life. It is a statistical fact that most kids murdered by a parent are murdered by their mother.
Logged

princessdi

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1271
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2010, 10:13:36 AM »

That is so sad. I will be lifting that family up in prayer.   

Being in foster care, you run across all kinds of abuse.  My Mom once had a little girl who by age three had been abused in every way conceivable, by both her parents.  When my Mom got her that was the second time she had been removed from them.  It was God's will that girl landed in my parent's home.  She is now in high school doing very well, and has several scholarships for college.  Most of all she still LOVES her Nana who took her to church, and the church family there.
Logged
It is the duty of every cultured man or woman to read sympathetically the scriptures of the world.  If we are to respect others' religions as we would have them respect our own, a friendly study of the world's religions is a sacred duty. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

mrst53

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 363
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2010, 05:05:23 PM »

It was a wonderful thing your mother was there, di.God certainly placed her in the right place.
Logged

princessdi

  • Veteran Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1271
Re: enditnow - Violence Against Women
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2010, 10:04:59 AM »

Yes, my parents were defintiely special.  they truly had more than enough love for their own children and many more.
Logged
It is the duty of every cultured man or woman to read sympathetically the scriptures of the world.  If we are to respect others' religions as we would have them respect our own, a friendly study of the world's religions is a sacred duty. - Mohandas K. Gandhi
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up